Turning 28 years old…

Today I turn 28 years old. For some reason this one is a hard one for me. I am in my “late 20’s” now and it feels strange to say that. Is there more that I should have accomplished by now? Am I doing an okay job at being an “adult”? These are the things I’ve been thinking about as this day got closer and closer.

But I found the answer in creating this list… my list of 27 things I learned at 27. I’ve done this every year since I was 17. That’s a decade of lessons learned and chronicled. You can see a few of my other lists here.

I’m glad again for the chance to stop and look back on the past year and pull all the truths out of the trials. To see that I did grow and learn and change and become a better person and step into being the adult version of myself, even though it feels strange.

So here is my list for this year…

1. My favorite part of driving a bright yellow VW Bug is everyone else who sees it and smiles (or gives their friend a “slug-bug”).
2. I am blessed to be part of a fabulous team of talented people at NICA and to have the chance to learn from them as we tackle projects and work together.
3. I am still a poet and an artist.
4. Jehovah always provides exactly what we need. I’ll never forget my hands shaking so badly as I tried to unwrap my new Bible and the amazing 3 days we spent at the International Convention in Seattle. #greyisthenewblack
5. Clothes that fit right can make you feel how you’ve always wanted to feel, and CAbi does that so well.
6. Sometimes the answer is to put a little purple in your hair.
7. Sharing my home with my in-laws has been the biggest test I’ve ever faced, but it taught me endurance and patience and kindness.
8. You should never binge eat Red Vines. Or Cool Ranch Doritos for that matter…
9. Mobile offices are the best kind of offices.
10. “Always rejoice in the Lord. Again I will say: Rejoice! Let your reasonableness become known to all men.” –Phil 4:4,5
11. Life as a Platinum Blonde is as good as I hoped it would be.
12. Brush scripting is a skill I learned that I will continue to use and develop because it brings me joy.
13. Cabbage steaks are too delicious to describe. You’ll just have to try them for yourself.
14. I love stovetop popcorn with lots of butter and salt!
15. I can do 200 squats in one day! And it does wonders for my backside.
16. My husband expresses his love for me by supporting my dreams and realized that to keep growing I need new equipment. I love my new camera so much! 
17. The #bestjobever includes driving home with the top down after a satisfying day of work.
18. A house full of music is my favorite kind of house.
19. Boats make the best hotels.
20. Death is a harsh reality of life.
21. I love taking pictures of couples in love; especially those celebrating anniversaries.
22. Camel rides are just about as fun as elephant rides.
23. #transformationtuesday posts are so helpful to keep our weightloss journey in perspective and encourage us to keep going.
24. Home is where Chris is.
25. Glad to be an official “iPhone-ographer” with the purchase of my very first iPhone this year…it has become my main camera for capturing everyday life.
26. Finding a tribe of like-minded people can be inspiring and motivational.
27. The best thing is to do the kind thing.

GUILTY PLEASURE

My guilty (not so guilty) pleasure is taking selfies. Turning the camera on myself is something that I’ve always loved to do…even before they were called “selfies.”

I believe in the power of self portraiture. I believe in capturing the beauty of ourselves through our own eyes. I believe in taking a moment to see myself with love, even though it’s hard. I believe in searching out that friend of mine inside and letting her shine.

High school art days

I have been doing some shifting within my creative space/studio/office lately and its been quite a journey. Finding lots of old treasures and papers and things. Like boxes full of letters from pen pals I had growing up.

And my artwork from high school. I still just love these so much. I’m glad I’m a memory keeper (read: hoarder) and can go back through things like this.

The mountain on the left is an oil painting. Oils were always my favorite medium. I think that has a lot to do with my grandmother and my mom’s paintings. The iris on the right is done in watercolor. There was a hill by my high school that would just be covered in these flowers. I love them. And this isn’t the worst watercolor I’ve ever done...I wish I could have really learned how to use watercolors well. Maybe its something I’ll put on my to-do list for a future time.

Left side is a dahlia painted in acrylics. We had our classroom full of these flowers during this lesson. I have very fond memories of my art teacher, Mr. Brown and our classroom. So many fond memories and unique projects. Like my self-portrait clay statue with moose antlers. Ha! On the right is a self-portrait done in pastels. I love how the face turned out, but I must have really exaggerated my scoliosis. Look at that shoulder! haha!

Its been fun going through all my memory boxes and and collections. I’ve really come to realize that celebrating the everyday is something I’ve always been drawn to, and saving things lets me relive those amazing moments.

So enjoy some high school art of mine…and I’ll be over here enjoying my desk by the window now. The light makes all the difference.

What was your favorite thing about high school?
Are you a saver or do you throw everything away?
Please share in the comments below.

Lavender hair dreams

I have had a super short hair cut for a year in January, and I am just loving it. I kept thinking I was going to start growing it out now, but I like it so much I figured, why? Right?! But…being the Shaina we all know, I did need to change it up a bit. I don’t know where I saw lavender hair first, but I started pinning a bunch of fun images of girls with purple and lavender hair on my Beautiful Hair board.

So many fun ideas! That, plus my favorite girl, WhippyCake’s short cut and I had my idea set. Once again I went to my favorite stylist and cousin, Hannah. We have so much fun doing my hair together in her kitchen. We painted nails while the color processed, played with her baby Harper and watched the boys play video games. It was a perfect Saturday. Here are the results…my before and after pictures.

We started with really vibrant purple knowing it would fade to that really pretty lavender with time. I love how it turned out…the color and the shape. I think it’s a fun way to start the next year. I can’t believe its going to be 2014 already.

What are you planning on doing to jump-start your new year?
Planning a fun hair change like me? I’d love to hear about it!

A self portrait from this morning

#blogtember

Day 9 Prompt: A self portrait.

The days that make you smile

I have had a some really great ones lately…days that make me smile so hard my cheeks hurt and pray in thanks of the wonderful ways that God makes things happen.

I am grateful for goose bump moments and connections that you never thought you’d make. For phone calls that change the momentum and direction of life and bring everything into perspective. For visits with family and generous gifts that make a hard thing a little bit easier. And for new glasses….they’re not ‘rose-colored’ but things sure do look brighter as I look through them.

Incredible opera productions are making me happy, and time spent with friends, and the beginning of spring, and eating amazing food, and coming home to a little bit of a lawn started in the backyard. I love grandma’s that bring little puppies new toys and work opportunities that speak to my heart. I savor the chance the slow down and take it all in for just a moment and write about it…these days that make me smile, and…

The way he loves me through it all.

A cut and a color

Back in December I was just checking Instagram one day like I love to do, and stumbled across this picture in Becky Higgins’ stream. And I instantly thought… “That is totally my next hair style!”

Luckily the darling lady was tagged in the picture, so I clicked over to her Instagram feed and was so excited to find tons of pictures of her sweet hair cut and lots of different ways that she styles it. Her name is Becki and she is the founder of Whippy Cake. You can follow her Instagram HERE. She also has a few hair tutorials on YouTube!

So of course I showed the pictures to Hannah, my cousin and hairstylist, and she said that the texture of my hair would be perfect for the cut! So I started making plans, deciding what products to try and dreaming of short hair. And on Monday the 21st we made it happen!

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

I’ve had it short for a week now, and I am loving the texture of, how playful it is and yet still really feminine. I can’t wait to try a few more of Becki’s tutorials and see how it looks with curls and lots of volume. Its not the exact color I was going for yet, but my hair was pretty dark, so it will take a couple more processes and it will be perfect. Hannah did such a great job. I am so excited about this style!

And my little puppy Gibson had to get in on the photo action too! He is just the cutest thing. I’m pretty smitten. Look at that face!!

What is the most drastic change of style you’ve ever done?
Do you like short hair? Would you try it?

New hair in November

As the season changed I felt the itch to change my hair again too. I had kept it blonde since April, which if you know me (or have read this blog for any length of time) you know that’s a long time for me to have the same hairstyle! Chris really likes it short, so I knew I would get a bit of a trim and keep the shape pretty much the same. But I did decide it was time for a darker color.

So my cousin (and hairstylist frequently mentioned in these posts) Hannah and I picked out a really rich brown color and planned to balayage on the highlights. That is where the highlights are painted onto the hair, instead of done with foils. The end result is really natural and not streaky at all. I love how it came out.

I’m loving fall with my dark hair. And thankfully, the snow melted away rather quickly and the weather has been mostly warm all this month. A lovely November, if I do say so myself. I have been busy with the transition from lots of free time at my old job to no time to be online aside from working on my blog design projects. So my blog has been a little quiet lately. But things are going so good. I am thoroughly enjoying my new job and I know when I look back at this time in my life I will smile. It might not be as well documented, but it is good.

How has your November been?
Do you like to change your hair with the seasons?
What is a new trend or technique you’d like to try?

Week 11

I am working on getting back to my routine and schedule…blog posts included. And so I’m back to sharing my 52weeks project from 2010. I did a whole year of self-portraits and poems and I’m currently re-sharing with a fresh “two-years-later” perspective. Interested in seeing this from the beginning? Click HERE. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the photos, the poetry or even just what they make you feel. Please feel free to share.

I will remember today
years from now; someday
when the mists of the unknown
become the clear skies of tomorrow.
I am stronger than yesterday
more alive in some way
to break down to nothing but
salt-water stains
and start over again...
to renew the spirit within.

I think I am finally really living the “tomorrow” that I wrote about here. I have cleared away the mists of the unknown and taken control through gratitude, celebration and answered prayers. I used to live in tears and still cherish the cleansing power of them, but I am smiling so much more now. I almost can’t contain my joy. In 2011 I chose to “begin” on this journey, not quite sure where my life was leading, but through 2012 and the days leading up to right now I have found my “flourish”…I have found my true spirit within. I am appreciative of all I’ve been through, but I am not looking back anymore. Not wishing things could be how they used to be again because I am thriving in my current. I am so glad to have this space online where I can watch the journey unfold. Thank you, readers for being a part of it.

Week 9

one girl
one day
this scarf...
she feels a friendship
wrapped around her
from a far-away place
and there are no words to describe her thankfulness.
from this place of expanse
there comes a soft voice...
a whisper of belief,
someone telling her
there is power in her thoughts.
she will be brave,
she will seek peace,
and she will smile.

This poem and picture are dedicated to my dear online friend Dani. She made the scarf for me and I absolutely love it and wanted to do something a little different to say thanks to her. She is the soft voice that whispers from the “place of expanse”…the internet. It is amazing to me that even though we are so far apart physically, with the help of the internet, she has become one of my dearest friends. She encourages me to be brave. And two years later she still has the same effect on me. She trusts me as an artist and let me design her blog for her, which was a joy to do. She is someone that I can talk to and bounce anything off of and she will always be there to listen. We talked on the phone for the first time recently, and her voice was just as I imagined it would be…kind and soulful. I am glad to have Dani as a friend. And thankful for the reminders of her friendship that surround me: my scarf, my blue glass heart, her portrait above my computer, the page she made for me hanging on my wall, and all the emails we’ve shared through the years.

Do you have friends you’ve made online that you cherish?
How do you say thank you to your friends?
What’s the best way you’ve found to stay close?

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.

Week Eight

once upon her skin
now they lay upon mine
a delicate string of pearls
connect us through time

a deliberate consciousness
to savor our connection
her blood runs through my veins
i can see her in my reflection

an elusive creature
a woman i barely knew
was taken before memories
was taken too soon

one day we will meet again
grandmother and granddaughter
the foundation of our lives secure
never will it totter

This poem is about my mother’s mother, a grandmother I never got the chance to know… and the pearls I am wearing in the picture belonged to her. My mum shared a little more about her with me recently, and it turns out that I come by my lack of skills in the kitchen honestly! It made me feel so much better about myself knowing that she wasn’t the best cook either. Good thing I have Chris! This poem also means more for me now that I have lost my other grandmother too…my dad’s mum. In November it will be a year since she passed away. I think about her a lot, and how much of her I never got to know either. I miss her. But the Bible hope of resurrection that I wrote about in this poem holds even more meaning for me now, in both of their cases. I know that one day soon I will see them both again and get a chance to really know them. That hope sustains me through the sad days.

Have you lost someone you love?
Do you have mementos that remind you of them?

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.

Week 7

to learn
and love
and laugh...
is to live.
-- still
I tread lightly over
sensitive subjects
and imagine in "what ifs"
it is not to be daring.
it is not to be brave.
it is to be.

The beginning line of this poem came from a song that I was singing in the performance of Razia’s Shadow that Chris and I were doing in 2010. Of all the songs and words from that musical those ones stuck with me, and still touch my heart. That is what life is all about: to learn and love and laugh. I wanted the portrait that accompanied this poem to have a bit of mystery to it…to have a slight ‘other-world’ feel to match the other world I was a part of at the theater. I wanted to reveal a bit of who I was becoming during that time, through acting on stage and rediscovering the artist within me. There will always be those who question or don’t understand the decisions you make in your life or the paths that you choose, and that’s where the part about treading lightly over sensitive subjects comes from. I have always had a hard time with trying to meet everyone else’s expectations. But when I took this picture I was figuring out what my expectations for my life were. Who I wanted to be. The path that I chose lead me to where I am today, and I wouldn’t trade the lessons learned for anything. I have learned. I have loved. And I have laughed.

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.

September Hair Diaries

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, my hair has been pretty much the same since April, which has to be a record for me! But Chris really likes it short and blonde, and he’s been vocal about it when previously he hadn’t really said anything one way or another about my different hair styles. So it will probably stay like this for a little while longer. I feel beautiful because he thinks so.

So I went to see Hannah at her salon and we added some lowlights, touched up my roots, and freshened up my cut. I really love how it feels, and its been so much fun to try different styles with. I think I’ll have to do a Hair Diaries post with all the ways I like to wear it at this length.

It will be a great cut to transition from summer to fall. I can’t wait to start wearing my scarfs again with it! I’m excited to welcome and celebrate autumn.

Are you adventurous with your hair?
What’s your favorite chapter from your Hair Diaries?

Week 6

These days are trying to eat me whole...
I find myself consumed~
by questions that have no answers
by tears that have no end
by life
& the things I cannot change.
These days
the only thing that brings relief
is to cry.
I always seem to breathe a little better afterward.

I remember the moment just before I took these images. I remember the phone call I had just hung up from. I remember the doubt and the fear and the hurt I felt. And, because self-portraiture was becoming my art, it felt like the most natural thing to step in front of the camera. That was part of healing, along with the tears. I think a lesson that I take away from this image is that it is alright to feel; that it is important to let myself feel. I still can hear the words said to me that caused these tears, and they still hurt if I think about them, but by feeling and crying and releasing I was able to move on. Its how I process. And then I forgive and then love. The only thing that I have control over is how I react. And there is nothing wrong with crying.

How do you deal with your emotional hurts?
Is crying a part of your process?
How do you move past things like this?

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.

Week 5

happiness gets blurry sometimes
so I stop
take stock
and smile
for the gift of a scarf
the touch of warmth in the sun
and the life i hold in my hands.
happiness gets blurry sometimes
so I spin
and revel in my femininity
knowing this life is mine to enjoy.

This scarf was a gift from a friend of mine who bought it for me while she was in Turkey. It was an amazing feeling for someone to travel to a far-off land and think of me and bring me a gift. Its one of my favorite scarfs in my collection. I remember the day I took this picture so vividly…it was just warming up a little outside. Not too bad for a February afternoon. The ground was moist beneath my feet where the snow was melting. I stood out in my backyard for probably an hour taking portraits. Because of my project, I made time during my week to spend in front of the camera and those minutes I spent were really a treasure. I could take a break from the world around me and all the turmoil. I could breath and I could smile. I really miss having a reason to stop, to take a break and take a picture. But I’m so glad to have captured images like this and the other ones I took that day.

How do you feel about giving and receiving gifts?
Do you make time each week to be creative?
What have you learned about yourself from those times?

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.

Week 4

a smile I used to hide behind,
now real...
a home I thought I'd never know,
now found...
a true love I used to dream about,
now mine...
so this is how contentment feels.

This poem is rather bittersweet to me, knowing what I know now…knowing how the rest of 2010 turned out. That “home” we found wasn’t the place we got to call our own, and I had to fake quite a few more smiles through some tough battles. But the truth that I have come to realize now looking back, is that “contentment” is something you are on the inside. It’s a way of living life. Its choosing to see and feel the good rather than to focus on the bad. And I am so glad that this blog has turned into a space where I can do that. Celebrate the everyday and inspire true contentment in others. Each day is a gift, and that alone is reason to smile for real.

Has what you’ve been through altered how you approach life?
Would you change how things turned out, or are you grateful for the lessons learned?
What does “contentment” mean to you?

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.

Week 3

they say I'm a lot like you...
mother and daughter
our distinctive laugh
kind, sparkling eyes
how we see the world as artists
and cry at Hallmark commercials.
we share a love of writing and photography
and treasure our hope for the future
we dream and remember in detail
and like a clean kitchen before bed
we love fiercely and try to push away our hurts
we miss each other, talk every day
and love each other with our whole elbows.

they say I'm a lot like you...
I say "thanks."

This picture is really special to me. My mum has played a huge role in my life, especially in terms of my creativity and who I am as an artist. I wanted to do a little tribute to her in my project to show how similar we are, and how proud I am of that fact. She is a poet, a painter, a photographer, a scrapbooker before there was an industry for it, and I love that she infused her life and in turn, my life  with that atmosphere. She always encouraged my writing growing up. I still remember the first poem I ever wrote…she wrote the first line for me and away I went. I love that I am so much like her. We really do laugh the same and there is always plenty of laughter when we’re together. Sometimes when I catch my reflection out of the corner of my eye I think its her at first. I wanted to create an image of our faces side by side…to really capture our similarities in looks and in personality. I think she’s a pretty great woman, and I’m honored to be her daughter and to count her as a best friend.

What type of relationship do you have with your mum?
Do you think you’re similar or very different?
How is your mum an inspiration to you?

Wondering about this post? I am sharing my 52weeks project from 2010 each week on my blog and analyzing the image and the poem with fresh eyes two years later. For an explanation of the project and to start at the beginning click HERE.