To be wholehearted...

For the past few years I have chosen a word at the beginning of January, and shared it visibly on my blog in hopes of using it to guide and define the upcoming months...a One Little Word. My words have been: begin, flourish, abundance, and last year was thrive. 

For 2015 the word "wholehearted" is what I've chosen...or what has chosen me. Its first big impact was through Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability. Its a must-watch if you haven't seen it yet! She is a researcher/storyteller who spent a long time researching vulnerability, shame and connection. So much of her words resonated with me. 

I wanted to find myself in her manilla folder full of "wholehearted" people. People who live from a deep sense of worthiness; a belief that they are worthy of love and belonging. That concept resonates with me so intensely. One of my favorite things she said in her talk was an explanation of the meaning of courage. It comes from the Latin word: cour; meaning "heart" and its original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And that is what I want to do in 2015...what I want to do in my whole life. 

To be courageous and live wholeheartedly. And through this vulnerability, embrace the gift of true connection. 

wholehearted [hohl-hahr-tid] - adjective: 1) fully or completely sincere, enthusiastic, energetic; hearty; earnest. 2) done, acted, given, etc. with total sincerity, enthusiasm or commitment. 3) unconditional commitment, unstinting devotion or unreserved enthusiasm; genuine and true. 

I aspire to be wholehearted in my relationships, in my worship, in my decisions and in my art. I feel a need to lean into living and loving fully. I yearn to be enthusiastic for the things that fill my days. I long to give of myself to the important people in my life, to my friends, to people in my community and to my dream clients with total sincerity. I want to be genuine. I crave truth. I desire to be authentic. 

And then once this word really clasped on to me, it kept coming up in so many places. I saw it in scriptures I was reading, like Joshua 14:8 and Jeremiah 29:13. Quotes with my word came up naturally on Pinterest. I searched through the #wholehearted hashtag on Instagram and was so touched. I knew this was my word. 

Now that we are a few days in to 2015, it has already helped to guide me in a few ways. It motivated me to get out my front door on days when that was the last thing I thought I could do. Each day I have committed to and followed-through on reading a portion of the Bible. My intention is to read the whole Bible this year. I have even found myself giving emotionally when I thought I had nothing left to give, and being filled up in return even more, because of it. And to all of these beautiful, little moments I say: YES! This is what I hope for. This is what I invite more of into my life. 

To life wholeheartedly. To be wholehearted. To tell the story of who I am with my whole heart. 

Photo by Bre Rachelle Photography

Have you chosen a One Little Word for 2015? 

Share in the comments! I'd love to hear about it and why you picked it.

Transformation Tuesday

It is a very powerful thing to have pictures like these…at times when its been a few days since the number on the scale has changed and I’m feeling stagnant, I need reminders like this. And these reminders turn into motivation to keep going! Before and after (or during, as the case may be) pictures are my jam! I have been pouring over them on Instagram and meeting new people on similar journeys or those who have almost reached their goal weight and who are keeping it off and living a healthy and thriving lifestyle. They inspire me. #transformationtuesday has been one of my favorite hashtags on Instagram lately, so I thought I’d share a couple transformation images of my own to chronicle the journey and show my progress.

The picture on the right is from October 2012. I just just started working at Horizon Credit Union. The picture on the left is from a couple weeks ago. I see the changes in strange places like my nose; my bra fits so different, and I’ve lost at least a half size in my feet. That jacket on the left picture…I can wrap it around my front now. I feel like my eyes sparkle more now.

Picture on the right is from May 2013, just before we made the change and the one on the left is from last week. I have a much more pronounced chin, and I can almost see my collarbone! Yay! This encourages me to keep on going, and maybe it can encourage others too. Set your mind to something, do the work and you’ll see and feel the results. And take pictures!! I think its so important to have these to look back on and compare. I’m sure grateful for them.

Something I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on in regards to my health is the reason that I put on the weight in the first place. I want to break this physical cycle, so I need to understand the mental one too. We live in such a food-centric culture, where everything revolves around food and meals. We celebrate with food, we comfort with food, we eat when we’re bored, we eat when we’re sad, we eat to gratify our emotions….we rarely eat because we’re hungry. It is so common to never experience that true need for food because we never stop eating. But in these last few months I have come to really understand that food is a fuel, and I need it to thrive and be healthy and active, but I need another outlet for my emotions.

“I must learn how to eat to live, not live to eat.” –Tweet this!

I have been doing some reading on the topic and there were a few questions in a book that really hit home for me: Can you find a different hobby when you’re bored, instead of eating? Can you deal with stress without using food as a pacifier or distraction? Can you create happiness without having to eat?

There have been so many times that I use my “celebrating the everyday” motto as an excuse to eat and justify bad food choices. I need to break this cycle!

What it comes down to for me, and I think for everyone, is to understand hunger and need and how food fuels the body. So I am working on developing a genuine desire to eat less. This is where HCG protocol comes in so handy. Because of the effect the HCG has on you, you can eat significantly less food than you ever have before and really test your body. It has given me a chance to retrain my mind so I think in terms of physical need instead of cultural norm. Just because its “lunch time” doesn’t mean I have to eat if I’m not hungry. This break in eating has given me a chance to rethink the role that eating (the act itself) has in my life, and to develop different coping mechanisms and build emotional strength.

This is huge to me.

I know that my desires to eat in the past have had nothing to do with hunger. I am so susceptible to commercials, advertising, seeing others eating, thinking that you have to get popcorn at the theater…I have to retrain my brain to recognize true physical hunger to control these desires, which I know will ultimately result in me reaching my goal: thriving in health.

I’m working on this…letting my emotional wounds heal, breaking the cycle of overeating to compensate for those wounds, and eating less because I want to, not just because it will result in weight-loss.

Glad for these lessons and the results. Thanks for letting me share.

Is this something you struggle with too?
What things have helped you better understand your hunger and motivation to eat?

To Thrive in 2014

For the fourth year in a row I’ve chosen a word to help guide and define my year. I think it’s a much more powerful way to approach a new year then to just make resolutions, because a word can become so many different things. It can bring things into your life that you might not expect, or dare you to do something new or guide you through a difficult time. It can become so much.

My word for 2014 chose me this time, late in the summer of last year. I saw a picture on Pinterest and I just stopped… there was an ache in my chest for this concept, even then. And now as I step into 2014 with more things happening to me than I’d expected, I need this word more than ever.

This is the picture I saw on Pinterest. And “thrive” is my One Little Word for 2014.

Definition: verb; 1. to prosper; be fortunate or successful 2. to grow or develop vigorously; flourish. (Ironically, my word from 2012 was Flourish…things always seem to connect.) 3. to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances.

Thesaurus: bloom, flourish, succeed, advance, radiate, bear fruit, make a go, arrive, burgeon, expand, shine, progress

I chose this word because: Lately it feels like life is spinning out of control…going faster and faster and I’m just barely hanging on; barely surviving. We have Chris’ parents living with us right now, and so, my sanctuary, my home, which should feel like a safe haven and a resting place feels like anything but. I feel like a guest in my own home. It feels like things keep happening to me…like I have no say. It’s a hard place to be, and a very negative head space to sit in. I don’t like it…and this isn’t me. So for right now, in this moment, my word “thrive” will help me to make conscious decisions to do just that…to go beyond surviving. I want to thrive in self, and thrive in truth (like my picture says) and thrive in health and thrive in trust and thrive in my relationships. I want my blog to thrive and my marriage to thrive and my work to thrive. I want to feel like myself again. That’s why I chose this word…or why it chose me, I guess.

With this word I invite: Strong, active decision making, contentment, health, control, success from my own standpoint and others’, activity, chances, changes, adventure and life.

Quotations:

“Build a foundation of faith now, and when the storms of life hit, you will not only survive – you will thrive.” –GanelLyn Condie

“You can’t thrive tentatively.” –Unknown

“Your greatest responsibility is to live a life that nourishes your highest truth.” ― Mollie Marti

I know that there are others in the blogging and OLW communities that have chosen “thrive” as their word for 2014 as well. Particularly, Ali Edwards who teaches the OLW class. But I don’t think having the same word as someone else is a bad thing. I think her perspectives can be inspiring to me throughout the year. It might help me think of my word in lots of different ways; ways that I might not have expected. But I know that my experience with my word this year will be my own…it will be personal and I’m hoping very motivational and curing.

I’m looking forward to thriving in 2014.

Did you pick a OLW for 2014?
I’d love to hear what it is and why you picked it.
Feel free to share in the comments below.

A week to remember

I am back to work today after an amazing week of training in Spokane. It was great to be in the city again for a bit and I am so excited to be a part of the team at Horizon Credit Union. I had fun getting back into the swing of dressing up a bit and wearing professional clothes again, so I wanted to share my outfits from the week.

I wore my new favorite blazer on Monday… I just love how it fits. And then I found some cute purple pants at Target, so I wore those on Thursday. Everything I wore was from Maurices, Target and Burlington Coat Factory. Those are my favorite stores. And if you look closely you might notice the other new thing that I got on Tuesday night: a new phone! I was due for an upgrade so I went ahead and got the Samsung Galaxy S III. I have a hard time with letting go of things (even when they barely work anymore…) so it took some convincing and a really good deal for me to make the switch. But I am so happy with my new phone!

I also took the opportunity of my time in the city to meet up with some of my friends that live there. And go to my favorite (and new favorite) restaurants. My nights were full of great food and encouraging conversations and my days were full of learning.

I know that this last week will be on that I remember for a long time. I felt like I was coming home and starting anew all at the same time. I love the financial industry and the values and member service based philosophy of this credit union. I think its going to be a very good fit for me and my personality.

The group that I was in training with was awesome. We had a lot of fun together and left with so many inside jokes and many important lessons: like remembering to check the expiration date on your cans of pop. I felt like a valuable member of the team at Horizon from day one and my skills and knowledge of the industry were utilized at training. I was able to help explain federal regulations and reporting, bring money handling and customer service experience to the table and it made me feel so good. I learned a lot from the instructors and made some new friends. “Yeah Buddy!”

It was such a terrific week!

And now I’m back home with Chris (thank goodness!) and in my branch again working with members. I am grateful for this opportunity and can’t wait to watch life and my new career flourish.

What’s your favorite thing to wear when you dress up?
Do you have dreams of making a change in your life?
What’s holding you back from moving onward and upward?
I’d love to hear about your experiences with changes…

Flourishing in 2012

For the last 2 years I've picked a One Little Word with the goal of letting it guide and mold my year.  For 2012 I was drawn to the word FLOURISH.  I've been sitting with it for 4 1/2 months now.  Last year I got a ring made with my word BEGIN on it, but once I picked my word for 2012 I knew I wanted a way to collect my words together through the years.  So I looked on Etsy and found the perfect necklace.  This etsy shop offers custom necklaces with words and/or names hand-stamped on little tags.  I got both my words and a pretty purple charm.  And I've been wearing it every day since I got it.  It is a little reminder of all the ways my words have presented themselves in my life.  

Ali Edwards has a class over at Big Picture Classes focused on One Little Word and I took it last year.  So this year I'm going back through and creating with each of the prompts again.  I haven't started the physical book yet, but each month I've worked through the thoughts Ali shared and looked at my life in terms of how my word is present.  I thought I'd share one page that I created with images that reminiscent of my word: FLOURISH.  

1. The primrose my mamma planted for me when she came to visit.  It flourished for its season.
2. My krill oil and CoQ10 pills that I'm taking to help with my cholesterol.  Part of the program to get my health flourishing again. 
3. Notification of medical insurance coverage.  A very important step towards getting a better understanding of my health problems and flourishing within that space. 
4. Walking almost every day with my sports tracker keeping track of my miles.  
5. A touching sunset. 
6. My nephew Emerson, whose smiles bring me so much joy. 
7. A sweet card from my husband.  Our relationship is flourishing. 
8. My morning journal.  I have been writing every morning in hopes of finding the writer within me again. Its been a good exercise. 
9. My new running shoes.  These Nike's have a flourish of their own and wearing them helps me stick to my goal to stay active. 

I have noticed many ways FLOURISH has touched my life.  But now I want to actively pursue it. To find even more of a connection.  I'll share more of my journey with my One Little Word through the year. 

Did you pick a OLW for the year? 

How have you seen it present itself in your life?

What does the word "Flourish" bring to your mind? 

OLW: flourish

My one little word for 2012 is flourish.  This is my second year picking a 'one little word' to guide and mold my life in the year to come.  Last year was full of changes and big beginnings...this year will be about settling into my new routines and choices and thriving within them.

Flourish --  verb:  

1. to be in a vigorous state; to thrive
2. to be in it's or in one's prime; to be at the height of excellence
3. to be successful; to prosper
4. to grow luxuriantly, or to thrive in growth
5. to make dramatic sweeping gestures
6. to decorate or add embellishment

synonyms: exist in abundance, overflow, thrive, accomplish, increase, intensify, garnish, display, swish, curlicue.  

 I have had a couple weeks sitting with my word now in this new year.  I knew this was my word as soon as it hit me, but I have struggled a bit with writing about it.  It is important to me to document this journey and to see what good things this word may bring into my life.  To delve into the ways I can be effected and affected by choosing this word.  So I've been sitting with it and collecting my thoughts, but today I want to share.  I want to put a voice to my intentions, to claim and to invite this word.  

A favorite quote I have discovered is from Barbara Smith. 

"Where trust is, love can flourish." 

I hope that this word has a powerful impact on my relationships.  With my husband especially.  This year we will celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary and my love for this man just keeps on growing.  And I want that to continue... I want our love to flourish here in our new home, in the life we have made for ourselves.  I also want to be more present within my friendships.  To make real connections and accept and love and encourage those around me.

I also want to flourish spiritually... I feel that this is a process that I began last year with getting back into the pioneer work and I want to continue to set and reach my spiritual goals.  Being active in the ministry work makes me feel like my life means something, like the work I do is worthwhile.  The greatest gift I can give is of myself and my time.  I want to give my best to Jehovah.  I want to grow and thrive in this area of my life.

There is also great opportunity for adding flourish within my home.  Being a new homeowner is so exciting and I am eager to continue to decorate and make our house a home we are proud of.  I have plans to turn our guest room into a bit of a music studio space for Chris, and ideas for utilizing that big wall in our living/dining room.  I can literally "add flourish" here.

I am also on a bit of a journey with my health (another post about this coming sometime soon) and I want to invite the thought of flourishing into this space as well.  Its been a difficult battle with figuring out what is wrong and exactly how my body works in relation to the foods I eat.  I have not been making the best choices, but this is changing.  And I can already feel my body changing.  I want to flourish physically and be healthy.  I want my eyes to shine again.

Throughout the year I plan on collecting things that relate to my word on a Pinterest board I've created just for it.  I am excited to see it morph and change and collect things, maybe even unexpected things.  You're welcome to follow me there and watch the journey unfold.

I chose this word because it just took hearing it one time to know it was the right word.  I think it chose me. My mind started spinning with all the ways it could present in my life, and I am glad to have some of my intentions and goals written down in this space.  I'm sure I will share throughout the year little ways that I am flourishing.  I am glad to be on this journey.

Did you pick a One Little Word this year?  

What are you inviting into your life? 

begin and end

Begin:  my One Little Word for 2011.  

This word is a verb meaning: 1) to perform the first or earliest part of some action; commence; start 2) to come into existence; arise; originate 3) to be the originator of.  its synonyms include such words as: inaugurate, actualize, establish, instigate, introduce, generate, impel, open, prepare, produce, undertake, become functional. 

At the beginning of the year I introduced my word and shared my thoughts on why I had picked "begin" as my word (or why I thought it picked me).  I love how this year really has come full circle.  This is what I said in January:   

this is how i am approaching the year 2011... with the intention of opening myself up to the possibility held by this word.  i want to begin so many things, and also finish what i start.  i want to savor the beginnings of things and recognize the change they bring.  i want to "be the originator" of action and progress and movement.
i want to begin to live.

And looking back through these last 12 months I feel fulfilled in what I wanted to accomplish and even surprised in what my word brought into my life.

The Facts:  I literally began many things this year, including regular auxiliary pioneering, being a homeowner, handling stress differently, online courses to help me find my way, keeping a check register, actively encouraging others, making our house a home, learning more about my husband, designing (wedding invitations and logos this year) traveling and going on adventures, trying out recipes, doing blog makeovers again, experimenting with my hair style, collecting things on Pinterest and created my "Stop Pinning // Start Doing" posts, figuring out my photography and editing style, a 365 project with Chris for our 5th year of marriage, new friendships, rekindle old friendships, read book after book after book, and really live!

The Feelings:  I feel like this word really had a huge impact in my life.  Many things I intentionally decided and began, which let to new goals and fresh outlooks on life.  I know that being back the pioneer work has made me feel more like myself again.  I am so glad to have found my purpose in life again...to have real joy.  I have become more purposeful in my relationships, especially with my husband.  I want to be actively in love, not just married, and I feel like we have begun a new chapter as a couple.  There are also some things that I began and finished, like my 52weeks book.  That was such a precious project to me, and by selling my book throughout the year I was able to carry it with me.  And then there was the month I gave up Diet Coke; that was an undertaking that I followed through with.  Our 365 project is still alive and going strong.  I am so proud of deciding to begin that project and can't wait to finish it and hold the book in my hands.  That feeling of accomplishment is something that only comes when first you begin.

As I say goodbye to my word this year I want to remember how I feel today: refreshed, eager, ready, happy.  And that's not to say that everything is perfect right now... I'm just savoring the little things that make me happy.  I want to remember there is fear in beginning, but also a chance to learn and grow.  I want to remember to finish the things I begin and continue to incite in myself and others action, and progress and forward motion.

What a year it has been.... from beginning to end. 

i am beginning

i am beginning to change the things i feed my body.  i can already tell a difference.

i am beginning a new friendship from an old awkward acquaintance. 

i am beginning to do something just for me every day.

i am beginning to watch hair style tutorials.  i want to start to do more with my hair.

i am beginning to plan promotional ideas for my 52weeks book.

i am beginning to write again...in my journal.  which has made this space a little quiet lately.  its seems that part of my embracing these new beginnings this year has been really stepping back and figuring out who i truly am.  what do i want my life to be, and how can i get there.  i know that  blogging will always be a part of me.  but i want to really define and calibrate my voice as a blogger, i want to be true to me and not feel like i need to compare myself with anyone else.  i want to look at my life and look at my blog (and online presence in general)  and feel like its ME.  i want to write and live from the heart.

this is the beginning.  and i like how its looking...  :)

ps.  the picture above is my OLW ring i purchased from this etsy seller:  tiny tokens designs.  really great price and lovely product.  im soooo happy with how it turned out.  its a positive reminder every time i look down at my hands. 

welcome 2011: let's begin

my one little word for this year is:

this word is a verb meaning: 1) to perform the first or earliest part of some action; commence; start 2) to come into existence; arise; originate 3) to be the originator of.  its synonyms include such words as: inaugurate, actualize, establish, instigate, introduce, generate, impel, open, prepare, produce, undertake, become functional. 

this is how i am approaching the year 2011... with the intention of opening myself up to the possibility held by this word.  i want to begin so many things, and also finish what i start.  i want to savor the beginnings of things and recognize the change they bring.  i want to "be the originator" of action and progress and movement.

i want to begin to live.

are you journying through 2011 with a word also?  i would love to hear your OLW story.  please feel free to link to your blog so i can read and share with you this year.  i have a feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful year.