52weeks: a look back

For the year of 2010 I embarked on a journey of self-discovery through poetry and photography in the form a 52weeks project. I took a self-portrait and wrote a poem for every week of the whole year. It is one of the things I am most proud of in my life and I cherish the pictures, the words I wrote and the book I made from my completed project.

Sabrina Ward Harrison said “We must create what we most need to find.” And that year, what I most needed to find was me. That is what prompted my project. I turned the camera on myself in hopes of discovering my true nature, the things that made my heart sing and how I would cope with what life threw my way. In between all those things I found beauty, honesty and truth. I found my voice.

Even now two years later I know that this is the greatest gift I could ever give. And not just to myself, but to all who take the time to read my words and see my pictures. It is a gift to my husband. A gift to my mother. A gift to my friends; the ones who really know me and the ones I’ve just made. A gift to those I’ve formed a bond with in the wonderful online creative world. A gift to those who love poetry and those who enjoy portraits. A gift to those who need some inspiration or just the knowledge that someone out there feels the same way they do. A gift to those starting out on, or knee deep in their own journey.

And I want to share again. I want to go back through each week remember how it felt to be that Shaina and write a bit about how I’ve changed, or what I’ve learned since then, or even how I’m maybe just the same. This is a part of why I’ve always been a writer…to look back and reflect on the story of  everyday life and celebrate what it has become. To appreciate where you are you need to honor where you’ve been.

So look for a weekly post with a picture and a poem. Perhaps you’ll find a little bit of yourself in these posts…may it be a little part of your own journey.

stunted by my own creativity
i cling to concept
rather than reality
i am aware of the greatness of my dreams
but frozen by their power
today i bravely move forward...
to dig deep
deeper than ever before
to learn of light & shadow
to capture & portray
self & other selves
& then it all~
preserved in 4x6

I have always loved photography and knew that it would play a big roll in my life from a young age. Its what I’ve always wanted to do, and 2010 was a HUGE year for me learning my craft and really developing my style. I used my project to practice because I was always available to be a subject. I got a new camera and my very first glass, a 50mm lens that year. Still my favorite lens to use. Its kind of crazy cool how things started off so small, but I had big dreams for sure. Since then I’ve watched those dreams change and morph into a full creative business including photography and design and even just blogging itself really. Since I’ve been sick I haven’t taken on many photography clients, but I’m never without my camera.

I no longer preserve everything in 4x6 really…lately its in 600 pixels wide. But from that moment back at the beginning of 2010 I feel like I’m now able to harness the power of my dreams and create and make and write things I’m really proud of.

I’m glad that Shaina believed in herself and started the process. Started the journey. Even though I still struggle with feeling worthy of living my dreams, I love where those dreams lead me to today.