Thursday, May 27, 2010

these words....

were exactly what i needed today....  it has been a rough month. thank you Felecia for sharing.

the bumble bee

by Marybeth Fidler

a bumblebee flies into my apartment
it didn't mean to be there
--it panics
and seeing the outside through a glass window
it proceeds to push and push against the glass trying to get where it wants to go
in its panic never moving from its task long enough
to see the open window just inches away

how like the bumble bee I am in my work or my life
i see where i want to go
and in my panic
i forget to look for the open window

so i push and push and push
thinking i should be rewarded for all this hard work
when, in fact, i am so frantic
like the bee against the glass.
i have been dealing with feelings of inadequacy a lot lately.  despite working so hard on my class, i failed my last quiz and am not going to be finished by the june 1st deadline i decided on.  and that feels like failing completely.  but i know that i have those who love me and who support me even if it takes me a little longer.  so i need to calm down, not push and push and be "frantic" but look and see the open window.  i think i'm on the right track...

3 comments:

  1. mmmmmm...this thing said to me, "Slow down...look around...and make sure your working smarter, not harder..." Sadly, I don't listen to that still small voice nearly enough...it usually tells me to rest and step to the left...sigh...hang in there. Sometimes OUR deadlines and goals are not at all in the right timing...

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  2. I completely understand this! I was trying to push myself into being ready to photograph a wedding in September, and then it got cancelled...and I was relieved!! I mean, I am not ready to charge yet, and I know that now. I was trying to push myself to get ready, and I need to relax and go slowly toward my goal of being a photographer, and do things as I need to do them. I am still in the learning phase, and have a way to go. And learning is what makes me happy! So I will do that until I FEEL ready!! And believe me I have failed many quizzes in my time:) Good luck and I will be pulling for you!!

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  3. hi shaina!!
    Thanks for let me now!!
    nice blog i will find some time to read it !!
    so pretty!!

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