Wednesday, March 11, 2009

the things in my world...

things are spinning.
its a marry-go-round i just want off of.
but instead i take a few steps to the middle, stretch out my arms, slowly stand and realize i can still see the world around me if i just look.

so its been awhile since i really wrote about anything from "real life." its been nice to just be wrapped up in the goodness that is my "online life." scrapping and friends and photography.
but there are some major things going on right now...
  • we owe the IRS money from our taxes this year. lets just say it was a major "shaina blond moment" that lasted a year and is costing us BIG TIME now.
  • my brother michael is in the hospital in seattle. he's been living with a rare genetic disease called Goodpasture's syndrome, and things are getting worse. right now he's on steroids, going through a therapy called plasmophoresis and is on chemo. my dad is over there with him now. its a tense and trying time for my family. i'm really worried about him...especially now that he's going to be a dad. (yup, i'm gonna be an aunt!) i'm hoping he has some positive results from the treatment. we should know more by the end of the week.
  • money sucks. well, the lack of money sucks. enough said.
  • chris and i are working our way through a rough patch. its been a hard month... but i am falling more in love with him as i see him react and love and forgive. i couldn't imagine my life without him, and don't want to.
  • we have two cars that we can't sell, but they don't run. we dont' drive them or insure them, so cuz we couldn't aford it we've let the tabs expire. turns out that a huge no-no in our tiny town. if we don't get current tabs on them by thursday they're towing them. :(
  • i'm feeling like i keep messing everything up.
but i have a feeling things are on the way to recovery...
i've acknowledged my failings. i have found forgiveness.
i am still loved.

there are positives in life to. things that are good:
  • this weekend is abi's bridal shower. its going to be a BLAST!! pool party. how cool is that idea??
  • this season of American Idol is going to rock!! megan is my favorite. :D who do you like??
  • a sister from the hall brought us a whole box of meat and veggies today from her freezer. our congregation has been so kind and supportive of us. they're so giving and caring. sometimes their love blows me away.
  • my brother micah makes me smile. i love him so much.
  • chris is my best friend.
so what are your positives in life right now?? i'd love to hear.
i hope the sun is shining wherever you are...


  1. hey lady - things will get better. promise. :-). money does totally suck!!! and megan joy is TOTALLY my favorite toooooo!!! i voted for her a million times last night - i hope she's back next week,,, i loved her performance last night!!!! take care lady - it'll get better!!!

  2. Everyone's healthy over here. Just coming back from Florida, that's a miracle.

    Prayers for your brother. Hope he recovers. Congrats on becoming an auntie!

  3. Oh, sweetie! I do hope things start turning around and looking up for you very soon! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

    My positives: AMAZING friends (you) who brighten my days; happy & healthy boys who keep me laughing even when I want to scream and/or cry (usually at the same time, lol); a hubby who amazes me with his unconditional love and support; Faith that everything will be ok.

    Love ya, girl! xoxo

  4. aw girl, i'm sending some hugs your way! the sky will clear :)

    some positives in my life? i'm engaged! hehe thats always a good thing. i have a craft fair in 2 months that i'm super excited about, my brother comes home next month (he's a marine and has been in iraq) so thats exciting.

    hope you're having a great week missy!!

  5. i'm so sorry to hear about your brother, i'm sending positive vibes your way! hang in there :]

    i'm convinced that money is the root of all evil. i, too, am not a fan, but it's only because i don't have any. struggling sucks, but it's going to make you so much stronger and smarter. i'm away at college right now, and thankfully getting financial aid, but last summer when i wasn't enrolled i had to quickly find a job so i could keep paying rent, along with my other bills. it was really hard, after paying all my bills i'd have maybe $15 left over. but i quickly learned how to budget, cut costs and i made it! and now that i have financial aid again i'm a lot smarter about what i spend it on. i promise you'll come out such a stronger person for this!

    ahhh sorry for the rant, just wanted to let you know you're not alone out there :]

  6. First of all, I'm sorry to hear about all the trying stuff going on, especially your brother being sick. I'll be watching for updates from his treatments. I'm sure they will work!!

    We've had to pay in for taxes before will be OK. One day at a time! And the car thing? We own FOUR vehicles. One hasn't run in about 5-6 years, another hasn't run in probably 6 months, and the car I drive is on its last leg (I think the transmission is about to go out). Brandon's truck is the only reliable car we have. LOL Anyway, back to yours, I'm sure that will work out as well. (((HUGS))) from MS (well Atlanta right now! :D)

    I'm liking AI this season as well. Danny, Adam, and the girl with short blond/pink hair are my favorites right now.

  7. Hello hello:) Rough patches are so hard, but we get over them and they totally make us stronger, especially in the relationships around us:) I hope your brother overcomes his illness and things get better in time for his new addition. Dealing with illness in your family can be very stressful very draining. I know this first hand for sure.

    As for those cars, if you dont think you can sell them because they dont run, you should really consider calling one of those companies that buys them off of you for money. I did that with my old car and got $500. But Im not sure of your situation, so just a situation.

    Keep smiling, your a sweet, down to earth girl, theres always mountains to climb!

  8. have made my day. thank you so much for your encouragement, your positive thoughts, and for sharing your stories.
    luv luv ya!!!

  9. awww sweet girl.

    “Don't be afraid to fail. Don't waste energy trying to cover up failure. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. It's OK to fail. If you're not failing, you're not growing.

    That's one of my favorite quotes.
    And what you think is failing is probably more just trail and error. We can't all get it right 100% of the time.

    The fact that you can even talk about these things though - that is truly the most awesome thing. Honesty is liberating. It sets you free. You're not failing. You're just human.

    Your congregation sounds amazing. that is very cool.

    I will be keeping your brother in my thoughts! and congrats on becoming an aunt!!!

    I love you sweet girl!