a month later....
yeah, its only been about a month since i've posted anything. and its not that i haven't wanted to, or haven't sat in front of the computer just thinking of typing something. i'm beginning to understand my problme.... i don't know if i want to write down how i'm feeling. words are so powerful to me. the things that can be said...sometimes i get overwhelmed at the amazing strength that the written word has. i get scared.
i get scared a lot lately.
so much has been happening. i'm feeling like everything is falling out of my controle. things that should be happy and exciting and wonderful, aren't. and what i should be doing or thinking or feeling aren't what i'm doing or thinking or feeling. i'm struggling with other people's opinons and not placing enough value on my own. i'm feeling detached and so amazingly unsure of myself.
i've got some big dicisions to make....things i need to do...things i need to say. i wish that i could just write everything out. i mean really just write. but i can't tonight. i don't know when i'll be able to. surprisingly, even just typing out this nothingness of a post makes me feel a little better. at least i've been able to pin down some of the emotions that are running through me.
i'm looking out the window watching the fireworks. little things make me smile.
i don't mind winking online at all.
"The desire we have to serve does not come from within, it comes from holy spirit." -Sterling Hedberg
ReplyDeleteexplain that to me.. it can be taken many ways when read out of context
"feeling detached and so amazingly unsure of myself."
ReplyDelete...i know the feeling.