Saturday, December 24, 2005 6

on monday morning my boss paige told me that i no longer have a job. she said that she has lots of bills and things and the easiest way to save money is to eliminate employee cost. i understand. and the strange thing is that a couple days after i got home from kelly's i kind of got the feeling that this was going to happen. so it wasn't a total shock in the moment itself...but once it sunk in i kind of had a melt-down. it feels like everything is falling apart in my life right now. i have no job, i have no home, i have no car, my best friend is in love...its amazing the emotional toll this is all taking on me. so i went yesterday and cleaned my stuff out of Page by Paige. it was hard on me...turning in my key. its strange cuz i feel almost unwelcome there now. and now on top of all of that, i have basically lost this month for service time. traveling, weather, moving...the days just slip right by me. i'm scared that if i fall behind that i won't have the energy to push forward again. i'm hoping that our CO visit in a couple of weeks will help me. i just need a new perspective and get focused again.

after i found out that i lost my job i had some really big desicions to make. the biggest one was if i was going to move to spokane right now or stay here for a few more months. on monday afternoon when i got home from service sister helen brim called me to talk to me about moving over there and becoming part of the ASL (sign language) group. she even gave me a couple different options of places that i could live over there. it was so amazing that she called when she did because i was so like: aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! and to know that i was wanted and needed over there really made me feel good. but my problem is transportation. i don't have a car yet, and now i don't have a job, and my parent's don't want to co-sign on a loan for me until after they find and buy a new house. so that is pretty much on hold. so after a lot of praying and talking to people like my parents, and other brothers and sisters, i have decided to stay here for a few more months rather than move to spokane right away. i know that the sign language group will be there for me when i'm ready, and its a great goal for me and i think that its what jehovah wants me to do. so i'm now searching for another job so that i can get things back on track.

in other news: kelly broke her wrist and kissed jeff for the first time. yay! (well, not on the whole broken wrist part :P ) i miss her so much already. we are going to be staying in my grandparent's other house until we find a new house to move into and so we've been taking stuff there the past couple days kind of getting it ready. my room is ready now: my elephants out and my pictures of kelly up. i'd feel at home anywhere as long as i have those! :)

oh yeah: the seahawks won!!!! yay! play offs baby!!

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