the things i can control

right now there seem to be only a few things.  so im grasping hold of them and clinging for dear life.  im hoping i'll make it through this "storm."

onto the things i can control:


1) MY HAIR

 

it was time for a change again.  i almost can't believe how haggard and tired i look in the before picture... i haven't been sleeping well and i have this horrible twitch in my left eye.  driving me crazy!!  anyway...so i got a bunch of layers cut into my hair and short baby bangs again.  im glad to have the bounce and curl back into my hair.  its gonna take a couple days for it to grow on me, but the change feels good. 

2) MY SCRAPBOOKING

i did this page on scrapblog for the current effer dare.  once again they're doing a swap with the first 15 people to participate.  the theme is "where i stand" and i found this terrific emily dickinson quote and thought it worked perfectly. 
it is therapeutic for me to create.  even just a little something digital.  i have to push...and don't feel very creative...but it gets me through.  its a part of who i am. 

3) MY POETRY
i have been keeping up with my portraits for my 52weeks project, but the words haven't been coming to me.  so i took some time and decided to write.  it was interesting to look back on the last couple months and remember the feelings.  i am proud of these poems.  and i am going to be so proud of this completed project. 
here is a recent portrait and poem together.

at that moment
the floor dropped
falling...falling...falling...
is my permanent state of existence.

there goes the other me...
somehow she's falling up.
perhaps she will find the meaning in all of this
perhaps there is no meaning.

just action and reaction
and me
a girl in panic. 

i know i'll get through this hard time.
but right now it feels so far away.
so im controlling the things i can control.