SHADYLANE BLOG

Aug. 28, 2007

so i bought this book like a month ago with the best of intentions...since i don't have access to the internet, i was going to write in this and then add each entry to my blog when i had a chance. great concept...but as with everthing else in my life right now, it slipped away from me. so i'm going to start today, tryand cath up a bit, adn continue on. we shall see.....

so in review:
July was rather wier for me. work had just seriously gotten out of control. summer is hard at banks. we were short on tellers with vacations and things, and had one new one in training, which means she hangs around getting the way. ant it seemed like nothing i did was good enough for my boss, Jackie. so to say the least, i was stressed out about that. at the same time Chris was having just as harda time at his job. more hours, less money, and drama up the wazu! you'd thing people could just deliver packages in peace, but NO! and both of us aren't very good at just leaving work at work. on top of that i had really not been feeling like myself for awhile. I was honestly sinking into depression. everything was just getting so overwhelming and really hard to handle. it was hard for me to get out obed to go in service, to go to work, to do anything. It seemed like every day soemthing new would pop up, there was no break or time to recouperate before the next thing. it really all came to a head on Tuesday July 31st. after a long day at work, chris and i were heading to the meeting adn my car just died while i was driving. At just first glance we couldn't see what was wrong. So we pushed teh car back to the apartment and took chris's car to the meeting. that night on the phone i told my mom: "its the last straw...till the next one." and i guess i was right. i pretty much hit rock bottom the next day at work. Later Chris said that it was my body's physical reaction to the emotions and stress i was dealing with. by about 4 that afternoon i cound't not even lift my left arm and i was having trouble breathing. i hurt so bad, and was frustrated by it all and ended up in a lump on the floor crying and in so much pain. i called chris and he called a sister in our hall to come pick me up since i didn't have a car. she came and got me and took me to emergency, adn sat with me till chris got off work and came. i don't remeber much of that evening....only that it took forever and that x-rays hurt. by 9 that night all we knew was that it wasn't a collapsed lung. the doctor wrote me a perscription for some powerful pain meds and sent me home. we had people staying at our house that ngiht, but i just went to bed. the next day my loving husband stayed home from work to take care of me. that day he took me tothe chiropractor in hopes that that would make a difference. apparently i didn't eat enough with my pills that morning because while at the office i painted and then threw up. not the greatest first impression. but the doctor did and exam and adjustment and figured out that my ribs were out and that was causing the nerves in my shoulder to be pinched off and making it hard to breath. initially it made me feel better. then i went home and slept the rest of the day. chris took very good care of me. he has been such a wonderful supportive husband through all of this. that afternoon he went into the bank and talked to my boss about the stress iv'e been under adn explained a bit about how i've been feeling. she was pretty impressed by him and said so when i went back to work. she said he handled things well and that she could really tell how much he loved me.

the next weekend was chris's grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. on friday night we drove to wenatchee and then teh next day drove the rest of the way to Oak Harbor. it was my first time meeting all of chris's family so i was pretty nerveous. especailly felling how i was at the time. i was not myself and not the girl Chris married. it went well, though. Everyone was very kind and friendly. i showed off pictures from our wedding and talked a lot about that. and i met chris's sister too. my in-laws had warned me about her, but she was ok to me for the 4 hours we were there. the trip was really nice. beautiful weather for the parts of it i was awake. then we drove the 7 hours home on sunday afternoon. rought one physically, but chris and i had a good talk. we discussed all the things that had been going on and tried to figure out what might be wrong with me. one huge possibility we came up with was a negative reaction to my birth controle. so we decided that i would stop taking my pills, wait for it to all get out of my system and see if that made a difference. it was wierd getting out the habbit, but by the next weekend i was pretending to feel good less and less.

that sunday evening our congregation had a wedding reception/welcome party for chris and i. iwas a bbq and karoke party. we both had a lot of fun and really enjoyed ourselves. august was a really busy month too. we did a lot of traveling. on the 18th i turned 21! Wohoo! big thing to be able to drink in the US. one fo the girls from the bank took me down to a bar downtown at 1 in the afternnoon to buy me my "first shot." good times. then chris and i drove up to canada (to castlegar) for my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary party. wow, what a weekend. there were so many people there that i haven't seen in forever, and family members i hadn't even met. the party was really nice. good food, dancing and a really nice picture slideshow. it was great to see everyone again and visit. the next morning my Auntie Gwynn had everyone over to her house for breakfast, so we had more of a chance to visit. it was so nice to introduce my husband to all of that side of my family. we were able to stay the night at good friends of mine from when i was younger. they were like my second parents, so it was fun to visit and spend some time with them as well. our drive home was pleasant. i got to show chris some plances from my childhood. there were some family that came for the party from Pensylvania,, my 1st cousin tye and his daughter alanna, who is my age. we've been pen-pals for years. they flew into spokane and were leaving monday afternoon from there. i met up with them and had breakfast before their flights. it seemed like forever since we'd had a chance to talk. i enjoyed that. on monday my dad, megan, and katrina went to silverwood in Idaho for the day then came to our place for dinner and spent the night. it was their first time seeing my apartment or visiting me in spokane. chris made his famous corn chowder and we had an ejoyable evening. the girls watched back to the future and fell asleep. the next morning my dad took me out for breakfast before i had to go to work. its been awhile since we've really "talked." it was good to have a chance to visit, just the two of us.

by this time i had been off my birth controle for a couple weeks and i could see a difference in my mood and stuff. gradual.... i went out in service on thrusday starting early with salma and mercades, like usual, but by mid-morning i was crying. i hadn't really talked about any ofthis to anyone yet, so finally being able to talk was good. kind fo a release. i stayed out until 3:30. my longest day in awhile. at this point i'm no where near my hours, so to just be out was good enough for me. it felt good.

on friday night chris and i met up with a bunch of people to go out and sing kareoke. so much fun!!! it was the most fun i've had in awhile. i got to try a couple new dring and sing my hear out. i love that chris and i have that in common....a love for music and singing. we both had a fairly good week so it was nice to just relax and be together. we continued that pland by heading to wenatchee for the seekend once i was done work. we had dinner at mom and dad's and then met up with everyone over at rory's place. we hunt out, visited, watched comedy, and then drove over to Nate's for an impromtu "jam session." first time the band had played together in 3 months. and the sounded surprisingly good! :) it was good to see chris back with his friends again. i fell so bad about taking him away form his friends and his band. i'm really glad we went to see them.

the next moring we went to the meeting and chris's dad is the watchtower overseer. he called on me and said " Sister Longstreet" for the first time. then he kinda smiled to himself and said "i like saying that." it was pretty cute. i love beeing a Longstreet. signing my new name makes me smile. i am a dork. i know! for my whole childhood i always wanted a signature with flourish like my dad's. now i've perfected one that i love!

anyway, so back home and back to the grind. on monday i completely cleanecd our apartment. still trying to organize all our stuff. then we went shopping and spent $100. it just makes me sick how much life costs. :( but we rented wild hogs and laughed away the evening.

and now its today....back at work, but Jackie's gone so its not that bad. Chris had to work late tongiht again, so i'm going to the meeting by myself. they had two drivers quit this morning, so chris had to cover. i hope he's not out too late.

well, that only took 12 years to write out! i'm glad i did it though. not writing is not good for me. i need to get back into it. not just my blog, but my notebook too. :)